I could stop the world and get off. Just for an hour. Maybe two. What would I do? I don't really know but I think it might involve a bit of screaming at the tip top of my lungs. I think it might also involve crying some serious tears too. Sounds to me like I'd take the opportunity to throw myself a pretty pity party.
The thing is I feel so much guilt about having these thoughts. What have I got to feel so bad about. I have three healthy and beautiful children. A husband, who despite getting on my last nerve as of late, he loves me and I love him. I have a fine home. I didn't lose my job two weeks ago unlike a few close friends of mine ... From all outside appearances, even from the view that only I am privy to, it would seem that I have no need whatsoever to throw a pity party. But the fact remains that I want to stop the world, get off, scream, cry, maybe even puke.
Aaaargh, there I go again. Oh the melodrama! This is why there are such lapses in my blog - I guess I just don't want others to know how crazy I feel sometimes ...
I know a large part of this has to do with the fact that I am planning a HUGE meeting at work where the president of the company will come and address our employees. So much planning. So much checking and re-checking. I so much prefer my writing role at work to my PR role. On top of the stress at work, Jordyn has some kind of stomach bug. It started at 2:30 AM night before last and it's still going on. She's getting a bit better but I hate it when my kids are sick AND my sleep has suffered which only compounds my anxiety and irritability. If I can just make it til next Friday, the meeting will be behind me... If!
ttfn
td
4 comments:
Aw {hugs} Tracy. I feel like doing that myself too. Sad thing is I don't usually wait for the world to stop. I just let go. your meeting does sound stressful, I hope it goes even better than planned. I'm sure you'll be great! I hope Jordymn starts feeling better very soon.
Hugs,
Carmen
tracy i'm sorry. i think you should go scream at the top of your lungs.. you just may feel better. hope the next week or so goes by quickly and that jordyn is feeling better soon!
Totally hear you Tracy - and that meeting wouldnt help your feelings right now either. Hope Friday rolls along quickly and things look up right after. Often the things you dread the most go much better than predicted..hope this is the case for you. Trust Jordyn is on the up and up by now too. Thinking of you, h
don't wait for the world to take a break- just do it! We can all be crazy together! And THEN throw a party!
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